At least you'll get laughs, if not love. Updated daily! A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. #17 Is EPIC . A love joke is a great thing to send to your significant other in the middle of the day. No thanks. Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!" Q: How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house? What happens when you get scared half to death twice? - Jane Warren A 3-way? Read on for some witty and hilarious Thanksgiving jokes you can share with your Known once. (Henny Youngman) [For those who do not know him, Henny (not Henry) Youngman was an American stand up comedian.] Don’t Forget To Check: See more ideas about Valentine jokes, Valentines day jokes, Jokes for kids. What did the painter say to her boyfriend? After having a laugh, check out our Valentine's Day Games. Who doesn’t love some good bad jokes — we do! For more holiday fun, visit our main Valentine's Day page and learn about the history of Valentine's Day. 12. Just because people have been writing love letters to each other on Valentine's Day since the 15th century, doesn't mean we want any part of it. My grandfather has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Irish One Liner Joke 08 Q. on March 25, 2013. Brighten your friends’ day! 11. Show him a used tampon and ask, “What period is this from?” 13. Irish One Liner Joke … A: When the big hand touches the little hand. 135 Best Funny Corny Jokes and Cheesy One Liners. Valentine's Day is a bit of a free-for-all in regards to jokes, riddles, and the like. If your mood is sunk and you could use a laugh, don’t worry! One Liner Gay Jokes. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? As an alternative to all the love and romance going around on Valentine's Day here are some jokes to offer some relief. Some jokes are simply funny & some are plain stupid jokes. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Don't worry if you're single. Everyday is a funday at FunnyWorm. Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Wright, too. 31 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny! 1). Valentines day is one … A man who hasn’t kissed his wife in twenty years, but he’ll kill the man who does. See more cute, hilarious, funny pics, GIFs, videos on FunnyWorm. Valentine’s Day Jokes By admin February 14, 2014 The more astute of you may have spotted that today is 14th February, and therefore today’s topics for one-liners and puns is Valentine’s Day jokes, although these are probably not the best way to foster romance. All joking aside,think how many babies might be created on valentines day :D by Stephen. Try one of these funny, cheesy pickup lines as an icebreaker. But one-liners don’t have to bring the cringe, some of them are smart, insightful, and stick with you for ages. Redneck Valentines Jokes; Valentines Day Card Jokes; Valentines Day Jokes; Valentine's Nap Joke; Funny Valentine's Day Jokes: Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. Related. From zany one-liners to (potentially cringe-worthy) puns to quippy knock knocks, there are endless ways to make your loved ones laugh on Feb. 14 with these Valentine's Day jokes. Sometimes we expect more from others because … Twisted Technology Terminology Since you're getting to know each other, and mostly communicating through dating websites, apps, chat rooms, and text messages why not tailor your opening line to these unique circumstances? And then there are some that are too dumb, they are actually hilarious and make you laugh out loud. "I love you with all my art!" Enjoy our collection of Christmas jokes, riddles and one-liners. Thought Catalog 33 Spooky Supernatural Stories (That Are Completely True) Thought Catalog 27 People Confess Their Proudest NSFW Moment More From Thought Catalog. Recommended Readings: 20+ Cheesy One-Liners That Will Have You In Tears 160+ Extremely Good Jokes. Definition of an Irish husband? A. Dec 30, 2018 - Explore Lisa Rieck's board "Valentine’s Day Jokes" on Pinterest. A boy candy said to a girl candy” we must mint with each other” 3). o O o. On a valentine day, one magnet said to another magnet” you are very attractive” 4). Either way, you’re sure to get a laugh, a hug and probably at least one eye roll. Anything I wanted to. You can write one in a card for an anniversary or you can leave a joke in your significant other’s lunch box if they take one to work. Absurdity Dad jokes Humor One-Liners Writing & Expression. My mom is a neat freak. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back. When everybody assembles for the Thanksgiving dinner, kids can come out with funny Thanksgiving one-liners, Thanksgiving riddles and Thanksgiving jokes which add a humorous color to the festive mood of this occasion. Plus subscribe at the lowest rate! By Julia Glum @superjulia 02/12/16 AT 7:28 AM. Funniest valentine's day one liners. Moms and dads alike are sure to love these one-liners, smart jokes, and punny jokes. - Daniel Liebert My mom thinks coupons are money, and gives them for gifts. 8 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Diagnosed With Herpes. And one-liners are often the ideal way to get a chuckle out of kids (Did you hear the one about the guy who told his 6-year-old a long-winded joke? Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,333 thumbs up 5,435 active users 830 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Related Topics Share these one liner jokes with them! 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes 42 Funny One Liner Jokes. You're going to die alone anyway! Dangerfield nailed it. By Philip Ross @ThisIsPRo 02/10/15 AT 11:06 AM. It’s humor, distilled down. A: A fruit stand. Funny Mother Jokes Group 2. Valentine’s Day Jokes: 15 Funny One-Liners To Make Singles, Kids And More Laugh On Feb. 14. February 14th is now upon us, and whether you're newly single or forever alone, it's a crappy day to be solitary for a lot of us. Show off your personality and capture that special someone's attention from the first chat with a little humor like these funny one-liners and ice breaker jokes. If I wanted to disappoint two women at … Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! o O o. These Valentine’s Day jokes for kids are sure to crack a smile sweeter than any chocolate around. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. Best Valentine's Day jokes - from bad puns to cheesy one-liners. June 19, 2007 by F&J Staff 13 Comments. The last 15 one liner jokes. Marriage Jokes and One-liners Researched by Alan Turnham You know what I did before I married? I can't wait for valentines day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me. If she adopted a highway, she’d mop it once a week. No, they had an apple! Breasts don’t have eyes. Valentine’s Day Jokes: 16 Funny Riddles And One-Liners For Kids And Adults. Let the kids memorize a few to share with friends, or write them on a note for V-Day lunches. Irish One Liner Joke 09 Q. We have made a collection of some of the best funny corny jokes that will interest you, ... Cupid called. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Superhero Jokes By admin May 7, 2015 I was in a conversation this week about a superhero fancy dress party, which ended up in a few related jokes, which seemed like as good a topic as any for this week’s puns and one liners, so here are some superhero jokes. Valentine's Day should be April 1st cause all that day brings is jokes. Why make a love joke? BuzzFeed Goodful Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here”. After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing’s for sure—we’ve got the all-time greatest Valentine’s jokes for you!